Recently I came across a post that read, “Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married, or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list. But no one ever asks if you are happy.” ~Heath Ledger
This hit different. I felt it so profoundly, it is as though the author had looked into my very own life and then said that statement.
We live in a world where people associate happiness with so many things and most of them material for example having a nice house, nice car, nice phone, nice clothes, being married, having children, and certain careers like being a doctor, nurse, engineer, lawyer and so on.
Happiness doesn’t have to look the same for everyone.
Yes, all these things – the cars, houses, children, and nice clothes in themselves are beautiful but do not particularly define happiness and success for each of us.
To one happiness may look like being a doctor, or a lawyer but to another happiness may look like being a chef or a stay home mother.
Each job/career comes with its requirements and challenges and what may appear manageable to one may not to another.
For one being a doctor may appear as happiness as one gets to help others despite the long hours but to another, the long hours may be too high a price to pay for helping others, let alone the studying one has to do to become a doctor before that.
So happiness has different colors in different people’s eyes, and instead of asking people what they do, or what they own, a better question would be to ask them if they feel fulfilled and happy with whatever it is they have, and in what they are doing.
Because so many people out there may have all these beautiful material things but are still unhappy.
But material things or not, success or not, that isn’t reason enough to be unhappy, happiness is a choice.
If you are unhappy, you need to sit with yourself and identify the root cause of your misery.
Find out why you are not happy
If you are at a point in life, where you are not happy, it could be due to various reasons for example;
- Maybe you don’t like the job you do
- Maybe you don’t like the idea of having responsibilities
- Maybe it’s the course you are doing or the career you are pursuing that’s making you miserable
- Maybe it’s your family
- Maybe you don’t have the money you need or want to take care of your family or make your dreams come true
- Maybe you don’t have the time or freedom to do with your days as you would like
- Or maybe you have everything but are just an ungrateful person.
Honestly, it is a long list of maybes and only you can identify whatever it is that is causing you to be unhappy.
Once you identify the reason(s) for your unhappiness, then you are halfway on your journey to happiness, you can then come up with solutions to your problem(s).
If you can change whatever it is that is making you unhappy, change it. But if you have no control over the cause of your unhappiness, then change your attitude towards the problem, in this case – your unhappiness.
Maybe your unhappiness is brought about by the loss of a loved one, and since you can’t bring them back to life, the best you can do is pray for their soul to rest in peace and try to cheer yourself up, because life will go on, it won’t wait till you are over your loss for it to go on, it will go on with or without you.
On the other hand, if you are not happy because you hate the job you do, you can just change jobs or find a way to slowly transition to the one you love, one you are passionate about.
And yes, that is going to take work and effort and it’s going to be draining but nowhere compared to how draining it is to stay in a place or situation you do not like with no hope of that changing anytime in the foreseeable future.
If you don’t love what you do, then ready yourself and make the necessary changes to your life. Yes, it is going to be hard but nowhere compared to staying stuck where you currently are.
So go chase those dreams, because nothing will make you happier than seeing your dreams come true, getting to live the life of your dreams, and living happily ever after.
And one thing to remember along the way is your dreams don’t have to make sense to anyone.
It is okay if others do not understand the things that make you happy.
Some people will not understand how some things like cooking food, taking care of the kids, painting, teaching kids a dance class, being a poet, writer, artist, and so on could make you happy and that’s okay.
It’s okay if they do not understand the journey, it’s not meant for them.
Thou not understanding your journey doesn’t mean it is any less important or make it any less worthy. The world needs all different kinds of people doctors, engineers, teachers, programmers, content creators, motivational speakers, cleaners, stay-home mothers, pilots, waitresses, air hostesses, developers, and so on alike.
Our lives would be a little harder in each sector if we didn’t have people to do that particular kind of work.
So go on and pursue whatever it is you are passionate about, whatever it is that makes your heart beat, whatever it is that helps you sleep better at night, and whatever it is that makes you happy and puts a smile on your face.
We are not on this earth long enough to be living unhappily.
And throughout all our time here, being happy is the single most important thing.
Make your happiness a daily goal for yourself. When you bump into someone who tries to ruin your day, refuse to let whatever they have done get to you and choose to be happy. Because at the end of the day, happiness remains a choice.
And nobody can make you happy until you decide to make yourself happy first.
Being happy is a self-responsibility. Another human cannot fulfill that for you.
Being happy with everything you have is absolutely the way to bring more into your life.
May these quotes inspire and motivate you to make choose happiness every single day.
Happiness quotes
The most important thing is to enjoy your life- to be happy. It’s all that matters.
–Audrey Hepburn
There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path.
– Buddha
No medicine cures what happiness cannot.
– Gabriel Garcia Marquez
When you love what you have, you have everything you need.
–unknown
Happiness comes in waves. It’ll find you again.
–unknown
If you want to be happy, be.
–Leo Tolstoy
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.
–David lee Roth
When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.
–Unknown
The thing that everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself.
–Ellen DeGeneres
It is not what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you unhappy. It is what you think about.
– Dale Carnegie
We don’t laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh.
-William James
Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
– Abraham Lincoln
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can make you comfortable while you’re being miserable.
–Clare Boothe Luce
Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
–Guillaume Apollinaire
Closing note
Understanding that happiness looks different for each of us will teach us not to judge others for their choices, or whatever it is they choose to do with their lives, but rather be happy for them because at the end of the day – it’s their life, not ours. And they only get to live once, so as long as they are happy, we need to learn to be happy for them and with them.
